@kimlockhartga: Opened the back door and a tiny lizard fell from the sky. It's either a sign, or the smallest plague ever.
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@SonOfCha: I would be a terrible stalker because A) not motivated enough 7) you would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
@TheToddWilliams: [Morgan Freeman voice] Isolated from his group, this penguin will not survive [penguin voice] Hey dude, I can hear you.
@Parkerlawyer: Hubs sent me this text: There's no wrong way to tell the person you love that their beautiful. Me: *they're.
@Burger_Time_: Theres plenty of fish in the sea. Theres loads of trash at the dump. Theres tons of bones in a skeleton. Bugs are everywhere.