@Phook75: Opening a bag of M&M's will produce no sound to a normal human. A toddler, it's like the atomic blast at Nagasaki to those creatures
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@ramblinma: Some days having kids makes it all worthwhile. I haven't experienced any yet, but statistically they're bound to happen at some point.
@WheelTod: Money was so tight last Xmas I had to sell a kidney for gifts. And this year it's getting so bad, I may even have to sell one of my own.
@TheAlexNevil: Not to brag, but I was voted "Most Likely To Mention Something Truly Insignificant As If It Was A Big Deal" by everyone who has ever met me.
@InternetHippo: BAND: How’s everyone doing tonight!! [crowd goes nuts] ME (standing in the middle, normal voice): Ok I guess. Kinda tired.