@EliBraden: Opening a Christian gym called 'Jehovah's Fitness'
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@Underchilde: If we’re talking and I suddenly look off into the distance at a copse of trees that means I’m thinking of burying you there.
@SoLongStephen: First line in frozen pizza instructions: DO NOT EAT FROZEN PIZZA W/OUT COOKING. It's almost like they know I'm the target demographic.
@shkeeber: I may not be the sharpest sandwich in the tree, but put my pants on one sleeve at a time just like you. Do you have any cookies?