@EliBraden: Opening a Christian gym called 'Jehovah's Fitness'
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@PajamaStew: Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots.
@mjkspeaks: [job interview] How did you lose your last job? "I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.
@Death_Buddy: "Good morning please could I have one human ticket to the water park" Sir are you a shark in disguise? *sharks fake eyebrows slide off*