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@kcmoore51: *opens new donut shop called "The Gym"*
@deegeemindi: If a recipe does not call for cheese, I'm gonna assume they forgot it and add an entire large bag. Well 3/4 of bag cause I ate some of it.
@LostFelicia: My new sunglasses blend perfectly with the color of my hair so I won't feel so stupid the next time I lose them on the top of my head.
@longwall26: Karate Kid (1984) Two grown adults enlist minors to fight a martial arts proxy war.
@slimmy_shady: Almost arrived at work when my kid asked "Where're we going?" Who the hell did I just drop off at school?!
@sad_tree: *shows up to date with horse drawn carriage*
"I'm so surprised!"
Yes it's a terrible drawing of a carriage but he didn't have thumbs so