@I_Bl33d_Purple: *Opens Twitter*.....scrolls 4356 tweets....*checks for abs*
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@vladchoc: Dance like no one's a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat's sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to.
@KevinFarzad: Just saw someone order a cup of water at this restaurant. Knocked it out of his hand. We're in a drought, idiot.
@Sickayduh: "911, what's your emerg-" "The women at work have synced their uteri and it's Hell" "Sir uteri is not plural for ute-" "TAMPI EVERYWHERE"
@thisis_thatguy: I just heard an add on the radio stressing the importance of healthy muscles and it inspired me to bend my elbows more while eating cake.