@I_Bl33d_Purple: *Opens Twitter*.....scrolls 4356 tweets....*checks for abs*
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@Brianhopecomedy: WANTED: Sanity LAST SEEN: In store, right before I told my 4 year old that he couldn't get a new toy REWARD: 4 year old
@LlamaInaTux: Joseph: *putting his arm around Mary* may I be the first to ever say to you 'Merry Christmas' Mary: *shrugging his arm off* we're Jewish Joseph
@AlexTHoffman: Little known fact: Scotland is just an elaborate hoax with Mike Myers playing all of its citizens.