@shkeeber: Operator: 911, what's your emergency.
Me: I'm 33 and I tried to do a cartwheel.
@ermahgarton: I don't really have a "blood type." I think all bloods can surprise you if you just give them a chance.
@WildeThingy: Teacher "Hi, why are you here?"
Me "Um, isn't this the beginners' philosophy class?"
Teacher "Yes and you're off to a really bad start."
K. U. M.
Just write Jason."
- me right after ordering coffee
@Underchilde: Wedding rehearsals, because ruining your life takes practice.
@tekkie: Girlfriend: Ok you hang up :-)
Boyfriend: No You hang up first :-)
Girlfriend: no you first
Boyfriend: No you first
NSA: both of you hang up