@caithuls: OPPONENT: I'm gonna mop the floor with you!
ME: Thanks I could really use the help
@HouseWithDoors: *playing poker*
*my opponent smirks*
"All in." he says.
*pair of aces*
*throws down a pair of Olsen twins*
@sploosk: ants can carry up to 5000 times their body weight?? pfft. watch this- *goes to stomp an ant but it grabs me & slams me thru a picnic table*
@Eagle_Vision: I didn't know Sony was hiring.
@tpurvis06: If men had periods our commercials would be awesome...
@_freebird99_: OMG I LOVE RUNNING!
*endorphins wear off
That shit can't happen again.