@iLikeCatShirts: Oprah says we all have a small child inside of us longing to get out & omg why isn't anyone talking about Oprah eating children?
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@TheBlessMess: The best part of being an adult is eating whatever you want. I just ate a small man that pissed me off at the liquor store.
@SortaBad: Tip for teens: If you're buying booze with a fake ID, the easiest way to seem legitimately older is to wear a wedding ring
@dragonsorbet: [Security breach at Wayne manor] BRUCE: *brooding darkly* ALFRED: The back door is literally just a waterfall