@SoulYodeler: Optimism? Sure, it's worth a try. I don't see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
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@GingerGander: A new study says vegetarians die younger than smokers, on average, so don't smoke your vegetables...
@CloydRivers: Hey ladies, No Shave November ain't for you. Just saw some gal lookin' like she was tryin' to smuggle a cactus in her yoga pants. Merica.
@RelatabIe: whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can
@ericsshadow: My wife & I went to a costume party as each other. She walked around pointing at things, asking how much they cost. I showed up 2 hrs late.