@SoulYodeler: Optimism? Sure, it's worth a try. I don't see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
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@cosminaut: I'm pretty big on body art *pulls up sleeve to reveal tattoo of a hoof with "Hoof-arted" written underneath*
@Terry_maximo: [funeral] *walks up to give eulogy* *pulls notes out of pocket* "Frank was a weirdo that bit his toenails." *folds notes* *sits back down*
@StellaRtwot: If an interviewer asks you: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" say "I don't know, did you see me pull up in a DaLorean?"
@mrtimlong: It's called a "Monte Cristo" sandwich because one day it will return disguised as another sandwich & seek its revenge