@JohnHilsen: Oranges got their name from their orange juice-like flavor and orange juice-like color.
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@Mouthy_: Three people I never mess with:n1- PMSing women.n2- Truck drivers.n3- PMSing truck drivers.
@UncleDuke1969: Date: So… Tinder, huh? Me: Yup. Date: … Me: This is kind of awkward. Date: Maybe we should’ve used real pictures. Me: You think so, MOM?
@WheelTod: Saw a standup duo last night. One totally died on stage. The other killed. Actually, now I think about it, it might have been a cage fight.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: Women remember something that happened five years ago. I can't remember why I stood up.