@YayForJam: Order a pizza then act confused when it arrives. "A delivery for Aaron? Aarons DEAD. He DIED ordering a pizza in this house 10 years ago"
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@GrantTanaka: at my funeral, I need one of you to stand up and ask if you can have your toaster back
@slimmy_shady: Never eat ice cream while chatting online. Sister: why are you typing so slowly Me: well my other hands busy. She hasnt replied yet.
@causticbob: So the US is to send 3000 troops to help combat ebola. Does anyone else get the feeling they don't know what ebola is?