@YayForJam: Order a pizza then act confused when it arrives. "A delivery for Aaron? Aarons DEAD. He DIED ordering a pizza in this house 10 years ago"
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@VenusRockHobbit: If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite.
@JonnyStallone: If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "in Jesus name amen"
@KenJennings: I subscribe to Groupon because it's good to know which nearby restaurants have mediocre food & will probably be out of business soon.