@WhiteFolkProbs: Ordered a honey bee kit off Amazon. Can’t wait to tell my co-workers all the benefits of honey that I Googled right before telling them.
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@sheekaxo: Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard.
@davidkenny100: I grew up just a stone's throw away from where that whole family died of mysterious head injuries
@TheAlexNevil: 6: Dad, why do you have so many nicknames for me? *I break down, no longer able to cover up that I can't remember my son's name
@Parkerlawyer: 6, holding a pic of me pregnant with him, "Why are you SO FAT?" Me, "You're inside my tummy." 6, "That's DISGUSTING." Me, "It gets worse.."