@suedechukka: Ordered ribs so I'd have to put my phone down. Discovered new talent. Pinky scroll
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@TheBeerGuy73: I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public.
@jake_lach: Is that a cop behind me? No, just a car with a bike rack. Or maybe it's an undercover cop with a bike rack? -Weed
@thatcarlygirl: Them: "How's your diet going?" Me: *slowly eats a powdered donut while maintaining eye contact*