@haurdCider: Origami was invented by a young Japanese child trying to hide his report card.
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@tomipuff: I would like a warm hound please "Excuse me?" A flaming puppy "..." Fire canine "Do you want a hot dog, ma'am?" Yes. A scorching pooch
@funandmisery: As a kid: Why are cartoons always wearing the same clothes that’s gross! As an adult: This shirt fits well so I bought 4 of them
@MarcusTheToken: At this wedding, the DJ played The Black Eyed Peas, everyone left the dance floor. I like these people.
@1Happytwit: If someone asks what you do for a living and you reply "I'm a lunatic" they won't ask any more questions.