@ceejoyner: Original plans for Mt Rushmore had the mouths carved open so they would scream out bats at the setting sun then eat them again at dawn.
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@cepheusjackson: WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.
@aveuaskew: Keep salespeople from pestering you by asking what type of saw can cut through bone and sinew the quickest.
@sammyrhodes: Probably a good thing I'm not a ghost cause I'd just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.