@juliussharpe: Oscar Pistorius has the worst alibi ever. Who the hell would break into your house to rob your bathroom?
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@TheCatWhisprer: [texting] WIFE: need to talk when u get home ME: about what WIFE: too much to text just wait till u get home ME: *never goes home*
@joeljeffrey: A man fought off a polar bear yesterday using only his cell phone... it was probably a blackberry. The bear was so disgusted he just left.