@jwoodham: Ostriches would be scary as hell if they could fly or if they had arms, but they can't and they don't, so here we are. Stupid land birds.
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@LuckoftheDraw86: "Every child's a gift." "Your 'gift' is eating his own boogers right now." "..." "I hope you saved the receipt."
@philco816: Kids we are running late let's go! *Kids I'm going to count every stair on the way down with out my shoes on.*
@TheTweetOfGod: Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty, and money can buy a lot of other really cool stuff, so try to have some at all times.