@jwoodham: Ostriches would be scary as hell if they could fly or if they had arms, but they can't and they don't, so here we are. Stupid land birds.
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@TJ_Whitehead: By my calculations, I've spent approximately $39 throughout my life to watch bananas turn brown on my kitchen table
@Nawyourecrazy: Headed to a wedding and my guy friends told me to take pics of hot women for them. *selfies*
@ibid78: [eharmony] based on your responses, your perfect match is a trashcan.. [me] aww [eharmony] ..full of raccoons [me] omg I love raccoons