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-French Canadian on a water slide.
@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo.
-Oh, like the artist.
-Um no like the Ninja Turtle.
@garrettbarry70: Currently helping my wife looking for her favourite vase that I threw out six months ago.
@thetruealban: Flash floods in Arizona last night. We nominate California and Texas. #ALSIceBucketChallenge
@just1fool: Every time you reach under the couch for something a giant spider must choose whether or not to give up its secure location.
@Try2StopME: If you're the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.