@SuperTeeWhy: Ouija board just told me it's still waiting on a grandbaby and I was like lol Mom when did you die
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@hippieswordfish: lobster christian grey: 'my tastes are very.....singular' *opens closet door revealing hundreds of rubber bands*
@MarieColette: I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
@ilovepie84: I've replaced my neighbors toothpaste with Napalm, and left him a free pack a cigarettes. Now we wait.