@sfreeze6: Ouija boards are officially obsolete, now that the dead can read messages addressed to them on Facebook.
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@tigersgoroooar: Just saw a car with a license plate that says FLSH ME. Ok, douche. What are you, a dead goldfish? Flush yourself.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: *grabs a donut from conference room* Incredible powerpoint, Greg "Excuse me ma'am, do you work here?" Me: *grabs another donut & runs*
@mynameisntdave: MOBSTER: *cracks knuckles* ME: that supposed to intimidate me? *his fingers start to glow like glowsticks* ME: k I'm scared but thats rad
@Thynebear: Teacher: You can do anything you set your mind to [I try to sneak outta class but somehow mess up the pull door twice] Except maybe that guy