@Lexactly: [Ouija board]
Spirits are you there?
U R C U T E D O Y O U H A V E K I K
@stevevsninjas: me: hi, can you tell me which is the bride's side?
lawyer: guests are not allowed at divorce proceedings
@ItsJennaMarbles: Dear girls that go tanning, it's called 'sunkissed', it's not called 'dorito raped'.
@WildeThingy: [revenge plan]
*invent miniaturisation machine.
*shrink to tiny size.
*crawl all over sleeping spider's face.
@peachgrenade: A good friend is like a four leaf clover: sometimes you accidentally run them over with a lawnmower
@Peauxtassium: My daughter forgot to bring her lunch to school today. It was delicious.