@ZachWeiner: Our baby doubled age in a single day. If my calculations are correct, a month from now she'll be about 3 million years old.
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@bridger_w: In time, the dust settled, and the dust took a job it hated and married someone it could barely tolerate
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I can point out chicks who say "vokka" and "liberry" instead of "vodka" and "library" based on the use of emoticons in their screen name.
@chimneyspotter: DR: Are you sexually active? ME: Very DR: Eating donuts alone in your car doesn't count ME: Still yes DR: Neither do croissants ME: Then no
@briangaar: A 13-pound baby was born in GERMANY?? C'mon Mississippi, this is why we keep you around