@CM2BTTHD: Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side.
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@naughtygeisha3: Men say they love Asian women but every time I fry up a new boyfriend's cat or dog it's like all the appreciation goes out the window.
@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.