@michaelianblack: Our family's annual tradition, as I put up the tree, everybody gathers around to watch my wife tell me I'm stringing the lights wrong.
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@toomanytoes: Evil villain: I've been expecting you. *Swivels around in swivel chair* *Superhero runs over & spins chair faster* Evil villian: WEEEEE!
@_davidlucas_: The art of conversation, otherwise known as two or more people each awaiting their chance to interrupt.
@MyNameIsPappyG: Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over there and get me a beer