@KentWGraham: Our forefathers fought against British rule so anyone can become president. For the first time in 240 years, we’re regretting that decision.
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@MarfSalvador: Lady: Help!! My husband isn't breathing! Doctor: LET ME PAST *elbows his way through the crowd* I've never seen anyone die before
@Izianikapani: In Australia we say tuna not tuna fish because tuna cow and tuna chicken are not readily available here.
@ParasiteHilton: "HAHA WTF LMAO OMG LOL HAHA WTF LMAO LMAO HAHA LOL OMG LMAO LOL WTF LMAO" - Birds at 6AM