@Cpin42: Our middle child says we neglect him/her.
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@GrantTanaka: the year is 2046: leggings & cargo shorts have become sentient, the world is very different but we're all pretty comfy
@InternetHippo: [my cell phone rings] ME (a person who pays a monthly fee to allow this): Ugh why is this happening
@ComedicBust: [First Date] Me: Wanna check out the local garden? Her: That sounds amazing. [arriving at Olive Garden] Me: Damn, it's busier than usual
@Douchekevin: I eat the free samples at Costco for lunch every day. I'm adding 'enjoys eating out' to my dating profile.