@meganamram: Our scariest president was probably Rushmore, because he had four heads
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sixthformpoet: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
@librarianfonz: It's especially on Fridays at 5 pm when I wish I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.
@Audenary: DAD: Think an earthquake's coming. MOM: Check Rocky; dogs always know. DOG *analysing seismic data*: I anticipate magnitudes of 6 or more.
@deardilettante: The only good thing about people who wear too much cologne is that they're easier to set on fire.