@RandomAntics: Our society makes women ashamed and unhappy with their bodies. I, for one, have always been disappointed by the lack of cupholders on mine.
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@lazerdoov: Girlfriend: hey babe you wanna get breakfast and go for a run? (Cut to me with a mouth full of Doritos) Me: I have shin splints
@justabloodygame: "It's terminal-" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? "Departure time is in three hours." THREE? WHAT DO I DO? "This is an airport." SO WHAT? I'M DYING!