@iinkedZombie: Our son attempted to explain to his little sister why his mom and I are married, so he told her, "Daddy was the only boy who liked mommy!"
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@PeteSnacks: Who died and made you king? Oh the king before you died. Well that makes sen- Oh he was your father. Well then I'm very sorry for your loss.
@Darlainky: I don't always make my order as complicated as possible, just when the server is showing off by not writing it down.
@nickcreelman: Some people say they have a hamster on a wheel in their head. I have 4 squirrels fighting over an acorn.
@Douchekevin: Girlfriend told me she wants me to pull her hair , but apparently not while she's driving. Girls are weird.