@CulturedRuffian: Our 'thoughts and prayers' go out to all the vegans and innocent cabbages everywhere.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: When a guy shaves his head bald and wears a sweatband, the top of his head looks like a stick of roll-on deodorant.
@lilgapeach30: Men. Can't live with 'em...can't finish this joke unless I wanna be single the rest of my life.
@mlevchin: Front page of cnn.com features "Cats that look like Hitler". Just not enough other important stuff happening in the world, I guess.