@CulturedRuffian: Our 'thoughts and prayers' go out to all the vegans and innocent cabbages everywhere.
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@TheBoydP: I try not to be loud in the office restroom stall unless my boss is in the restroom, because then I want to prove I'm not just goofing off.
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Says here you do magic tricks? ME: *hands him back his business card* Is this your card? INTERVIEWER: holy shit