@Erik_Allen: "Our toes look nothing like that!" - Camels
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@dreamthievin: No clean Tupperware today, so I brought my yogurt to work tied up in a condom. No longer allowed to use the employee fridge.
@MicheleAKALips: I suspected my marriage was in trouble when I'd meet my husband for dinner then we would both race home to make out with the babysitter.
@XplodingUnicorn: I told my 2-year-old to find her shoes She cupped her hands & yelled "Shoes, where are you?" I'd help her, but I want to see if this works
@HalfBakedHoney: I can't wait to tell my grandchildren how many times I've survived the end of the world.