@LizHackett: Out in public, my husband and I only argue using whale sounds, so it's actually a very calm and soothing experience for people around us.
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@AnOrangeSNES: Nine out of ten doctors agree that dying is bad for your health. The other doctor is clad in a dark robe and carrying a scythe.
@StellaRtwot: I think I'll test to see if my husband is checking my browser history by searching "How to tell if your baby is black in the womb."
@Jake_Vig: Dear President of Mexico, DO NOT fall for Trump's old trick where he mumbles "guypayingtobuildthewallsayswhat?" and you say "What?"
@jwoodham: We all deserve friends like the Backstreet Boys. If you ask "am I sexuaaaal?" and don't get a "yeeeeeeah!" in response, you need a new crew.