@Sassafrantz: Out of all the children's stories, Goldilocks is the most ridiculous. How's someone just gonna fall asleep while committing a felony? smh
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@seandunn76: 4 in 3 people have syphilis. Look to your left. Look to your right. One of you has syphilis twice.
@turtledumplin: Cashier: would u like a bag? Me: no I'll just carry the economy box of pads & Midol out so whoever thinks of kidnapping me will think twice
@HitsBelowBelt: What kinda psychopath tries to get in touch with someone by calling them on the phone. What is this...1984?
@WAYNES_O: When the mosquito landed on my face, it was one of the easier decisions of the day for my wife.