@ClassicMegan: Out of all the gruesome noises coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most troubling.
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@JasonLastname: If I could meet any celebrity it might have to be David Schwimmer. In a schwimming pool. Learning how to schwim.
@abhorrent_wife: I don't always try to use big words but when I do, I accidentally tell a mother her toddler was a necrophiliac today instead of narcoleptic.
@SadPeruna: Honestly Officer, I do have a few ideas as to why I'd get pulled over, but I'm kind of afraid to tell you. Let's both say it on 1-2-3, ok?