@TheTweetOfGod: Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? 'Cause I assume you've thought that through.
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@AverageCorners: My sleeping pills say to take them and immediately go to bed, but I feel like I have plenty of time, so km ufmcmszbv ishzn hdu flerf.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: Do you think men and women are just hardwired differently? ME [drinking a bottle of shampoo]: *bubble noises*
@kcmoore51: 13: I have a friend that doesn't like baseball, chocolate, or bacon. Me: Pretty sure that's not a friend, bro.
@BatmanOffDuty: One day I bet bullets will be replaced by flowers, and guns will probably be replaced by something that fires flowers with deadly force.