@TheTweetOfGod: Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? 'Cause I assume you've thought that through.
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@marcia_bee: Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo.
@InkedUpKidder: Saturday in my 20's: "Nice, this club is hot! gimme a Vodka tonic!" Tonight: "Nice, grocery store is empty, ooh I got coupon for that !!"
@iGreenMonk: Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! #MyProblem
@ems: I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn't even eat them.