@ericonederful: Out with the cat for a walk. We are still at my doorstep. It's been 15 minutes.
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@chadzappa: I didn't spend years perfecting this blank, vacant expression so you could mistake me for someone who cares, lady...
@DiscoFruit: me: *lights cig* do u smoke? girl: no, cigarettes killed my father me: oh, cancer..? her: no, an army of them, gunned him down me: wait what
@Douchekevin: My four year old planted 25¢ in the garden and said a money tree is going grow there. I laughed- but water it at night just in case