@Jandalize: Outside, contemplating life, love, and happiness and if I should tell the neighbor that his kid has been stuck in a tree for three hours.
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@InternetHippo: Me for many years: I wish my friends were interested in politics Now that all my friends are interested in politics: Oh this sucks actually
@Sir_Strange: *goes on job interview* -You come very highly recommended. -Why thank you, I always try to be as stoned as possible before I come to work.
@TheWoodenslurpy: If I commit suicide, it’ll be for a shallow reason, like unrequited texts. But the note I leave will mention world hunger at least 11 times.
@msmollybee25: Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.