@MissBamantha: Overheard a girl just say she's full because she ate at 3:00. It's 6:00. How can you stay full for THREE HOURS, alien?
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@orange_rhymer: [robbing bank] leader: go in & grab everything you can *i go in to grab loot* Me: (yanking pen chain, increasingly panicked) no no No NO NO-
@Just_Lee_: 4yo has repeated one word for an hour. 6yo is ninja fighting his imaginary friend. My move to a mental asylum will be an easy transition.
@Baldylockzzz: Look girl, all I'm saying is , if I have to choose between you and chocolate milk Be prepared to cry
@fro_vo: a bunch of people at a school dance waiting to get a drink that's it. that's the punch line