@MissBamantha: Overheard a girl just say she's full because she ate at 3:00. It's 6:00. How can you stay full for THREE HOURS, alien?
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@ddsmidt: When someone reads your message, then never responds, it's just hurtful. I mean, what else could they possibly have going on at 3 AM?
@TweetingDadGuy: Winter is great because it gets dark earlier and you can get a head start on your shady activities.
@faizziy: That awkward moment when you die, and all you were trying to do was take a selfie with a lion on a jungle safari..