@Vivalazoso: Overheard at the coffee shop: 'i think that guy is listening to our conversation'
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@JohnBoyStyle: Knock, knock Who's there? Wu Wu who? I wouldn't get too excited sir, I'm here to impound your car.
@WouldbeAllen: JACOB MARLEY: 3 ghosts will visit you! ME: do u count? JM: what ME: you're a ghost. Do u count? JM: dude this the kinda shit they don't like
@EverydayGirlDad: As a kid playing parent, I never accounted for the 8 hours a week I'd lose taking underwear out of inside out pants while doing laundry.
@MazMEDEA: Really not sure what's all the fuss about the Queen's #Nazi salute, everyone knows 'Scissors Beat Paper'