@Vivalazoso: Overheard at the coffee shop: 'i think that guy is listening to our conversation'
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@HannahSymmonds: Him: It's so damn sexy when women bite their lip Me: Like this? Him: The bottom lip.
@iLikeCatShirts: [Red Lobster] Waiter: we're offering Endless Shrimp. Me: bring me the endless shrimp <5 days later> Waiter: please leave, I have a family
@that1bish27: "I traded my carpet in for bare floors" --coworker. "Oh, me too. I love the shaved look.", said me. Apparently, she really meant carpet.