@NourHadidi: Overheard at work: "that is music to my ears". Where else would the music go smartypants?
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@KevinFarzad: People are often shocked when I tell them I'm single because I scream it at them while sliding open their shower curtain.
@SeanBlazed: The best thing about the Transformers trilogy was the part in the first one when my brother went to go get popcorn and fell down the aisle.
@girlontapas: Am I capable of premeditated murder? Your honor, I've been planning my cheat day for two weeks.