@LeviathanPride: Overheard this locker room convo: "The new school janitor is weird. He's always hiding in here when we're showering". I took my mop and left
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@chuchugoogoo: idk about you but I still remember what I was doing when I found out Kennedy had been shot: sitting at home, reading the JFK Wikipedia page
@murrman5: what's wrong son? that kid said he's cooler than me what? impossible. what kid? *in my head im like don't be the kid with pegs on his bike*
@weinerdog4life: Someone hired a sloth with a knife to murder me, he's in my driveway, so I have 6-8 months to live
@BestScienceJoke: Some cardinals and some ordinals walked into a bar, but the ordinals walked in first.