@LeviathanPride: Overheard this locker room convo: "The new school janitor is weird. He's always hiding in here when we're showering". I took my mop and left
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@4SLars: Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a cooch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon
@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I just found a piece of chicken in my hair. I ate it. Then looked for more.
@HenpeckedHal: When someone tells me that the best part of their job is getting to talk to people all day, I'm too frightened to ask what the worst part is.