@LeviathanPride: Overheard this locker room convo: "The new school janitor is weird. He's always hiding in here when we're showering". I took my mop and left
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@ThePocketJustin: Police:Is there anything you can tell us about your attacker. Me:He was much better at fighting than me. Police:Ok is there anything else?
@PhilJamesson: WHEN CATS ARE SAD Bartender: What'll ya have? Cat: Shot of rum. [Bartender pours it] [Cat slowly pushes it off the bar] Cat: Another.
@ThisOneSayz: Easter egg hunts are fun but, some kids always get their eggs stolen by others. Also, I'm not allowed on the field this year.
@ericsshadow: THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise