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"Why is this guy listening to our conversation?"
@ChrisScarlette: "just great, I've lost my house my wife is leaving and my kids hate me how can this day get any worse"
-A dinosaur, 66 million years ago
@Sandrahadenough: I spent 20 minutes at the gym trying to untangle my headphones...I'm done..my arms are killing me!
@toastymoe: Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them, to replace the oxygen they waste.
@kumailn: Xmas Russian Roulette:
1. Sit next to parents.
2. Type any letter into browser on your laptop.
3. Go to the website it auto completes to.
@LuvPug: A lady asked me where my adopted son came from and I said if she doesn't know by now where babies come from it's not my place to tell her