@samalmightysam: Overweight people know they're overweight, tall people know they're tall, why is it that stupid people don't know what they are?
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@geekysteven: [Not realizing Black Mirror episode is just stuck buffering] "Ah yes, this is excellent social commentary"
@shadygrenade: Magician: an ordinary deck of cards right? Guy in front row: that's a ham. Magician: [whispers to assistant] get eagle eyes out of here.
@daemonic3: It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million. How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?
@DrCephalopod: [feudal japan] ME: we are disgraced! we must commit sudoku OTHER SAMURAI: *disemboweling himself* it's called seppuku ME: *sharpening pencil* you do you buddy