@KKAlThani: Owls always look like they've just found out that they've been cheated on.
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@BikiniBabeLover: "PIZZA" IS ACTUALLY AN ANAGRAM... P - PLEASUREFUL I - INTERESTING Z - CANT THINK OF ONE Z - CANT THINK OF ONE A - "AGG"-CELLENT
@billwurtz: pre-crashed car! already crashed. don't have to worry about crashing it, car cannot crash. can't drive it (no wheels) wheels fell of in crash. also just replaced the brakes, brakes work perfectly now
@OctopusCavemann: If you get pulled over by a cop, the smartest thing you can do is try and say “license and registration” at the same time he does and call “jinx” so he can’t say anything else.
@BobTheSuit: Adult me must concede that a major contributor to global warming was kid me leaving the front door open and heating the whole goddam world.