@KKAlThani: Owls always look like they've just found out that they've been cheated on.
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@QwertyJones3: "See that guy over there? I have to serve him with papers today." -Oh really? Why? "Because I lost my tennis racquet."
@TheThomason: Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real.
@KimmyMonte: Hey guys is your refrigerator running? Because I don't like any of the current presidential candidates