@claytatum: Owls are just nocturnal pug birds
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@rachxthompson: me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia
@Contwixt: The day we decided such footwear would be called "flip-flops" was not our most creative moment.
@_4kidscrazy: Me: You know what cures a headache right? Wife: Tylenol Me: You know what else cures a headache? Wife: Advil Me: You know what else ......
@MaraWritesStuff: Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge. I AM POWER. I AM RESILIENCE. I AM A BRA STRAP.