@daplusk: Owls would be so much cooler if they could also say 'are you'
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@LosLos__: My parenting book would be just a series of "Shhh" with different lengths and punctuation for various occasions.
@ShortWhiteNUgly: My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.
@Parkerlawyer: My internet has been out for 24 hours and now my kids are moving out. That was easy.