@wildethingy: I am NOT a grammar Nazi!
@tweetsbyrocket: me: see the wrist strap stops you from dropping the wiimote
voldemort: this is brilliant
harry potter: expelliarmus!
voldemort: [wand dangling from wrist] lmao nice try
@peytnhaag: my roommate broke up with his girlfriend last night at a fancy restaurant and she started bawling.... everyone thought he proposed to her and started clapping.
@thedad: [commercial for babies]
*camera pans to a couple sleeping peacefully*
Narrator: don’t you hate this?
@MichaelTrying: Worst day ever. Accidentally touched a Magic Eraser and now I’m a muggle.
@pittdave13: As an adult you should already know shit like if you’re standing in the rain you should wear a rain coat and if you’re standing in a trench, you should wear a trench coat
@ankles_so_weak: [in hell]
me: *sad* why am I here?
satan: you're a murderer
me: what? no I'm not
satan: oh no? *rolls footage of my 3rd grade dance recital* you absolutely SLAYED, guuuuuuurl
me: *blushing* aww