@michel_lesann: *family reunion*
- flirting shouldn't be this easy
@kelly_pawlluck: Cute guy: I like that you just say what's on your mind
Me: Why do you think Ginger was the only band member named after an actual spice?
@liv_thatsme: Leading causes of death among men:
1. Heart attacks
3. Getting their wives a gym membership for Valentine's Day
@jordan_stratton: All of our friends were having babies, so my wife and I decided we might as well go ahead and get new friends.
@liv_thatsme: I wish I had a black stallion, so any time I got really pissed, I could angrily ride along the ocean.
@Donna_McCoy: [first date]
Him: *dips chip into salsa rather than scooping*
Me: *gets up and leaves*
(...comes back, grabs salsa bowl, leaves for real)
@dsylixec: If you're trying to kidnap me, just wave a bag of cookies and throw it in a windowless van. I will happily and hungrily follow.