Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@TheBoydP: Protip: Eclipse glasses are not cheap but if you wait until tomorrow you can get a really good deal on them.

@bzamayo: Android Oreo announced today; you’ll be able to update your devices by the time the next solar eclipse comes around.

@Johngcole: Scientist: The eclipse will be just like this...
People: Wow, you were right.
Scientist: Now about climate change
People: Shut up egghead

@AdamBroud: Anchor:Actress Zooey Dechanel has murdered an entire town

Co-Anchor:Lol who murders a whole town

A:So quirky

C:Haha America's sweetheart

@dril: broke secret sevrice guy turns his pocket inside out and strangles an assassin with it. opens wallet and unleashes a torrent of moths at him

@Cheles_G: Where does the army of the dead get insanely long chains to pull a dragon? Is there a Walmart north of the wall? #GameOfThrones

@JennnQuinn: Why is it when the sun blacks out on a Monday afternoon it's an "amazing natural phenomenon" but when I do it's a "problem"