Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@sip_at_home_mom: I'm finally putting that giant exercise ball to use, and my core is hurting from laughing at Toddler Dodgeball.
@better_off_dad: I can't believe they get women to pay so much for those boots & can't even spell 'Ugly' right...
@upsidedowntrash: Link: [plays 'Song of Time']
Zelda: No no that's all wrong! There's no E in that melody.
Link: [plays 'Song of Tim']
@DaddyJew: [spelling bee]
Narrator: I'm sorry but that's incorrect
N: our next contestant...
@Twtercide: I will not think of sex at church
I will not think of sex at church
I will not.
Priest: Which leads us to his Second Coming
@TrolleyCat: I'm not helping to save the environment until bears let me ride them around like cars. It's a group effort, bears.
@KeetPotato: [friends chatting in back of my car]
"im good at impressions"
in satnav voice: "turn left"
[i drive us clean off a bridge]
@Phook75: The upside to having kids is how you're able to use them as an excuse to cancel unwanted plans
@better_off_dad: It took me 9 self inflicted ER visits, but that nurse finally realized it was love at first sight.